There once was a pontiff Teutonic
Inquisitor, Grand and draconic
Condoms he hated
Said, "Much overrated
For stopping plagues worse than bubonic."
This Mensch, when Archbish of Munich
Got stripped of his emperor's tunic
You could see his regalia
Like most male mammalia
Herr Ratzinger wasn't a eunuch.
He knew the problem was chronic
He knew his own loins went bionic
When choirboys sang
And the big organ rang
Sure, wasn't it simply symphonic?
With a modesty animatronic
He pulled on a suit so canonic
To cover up traces
Of paedophile cases
He'd felt were merely Platonic.
When you think like an Order Masonic
You like to keep matters harmonic
Secrecy reigns
"We don't diddle we'ans
We never indulge the hedonic!"
In Britain he preached a sermonic
That, given his Youth, was ironic
"You are Nazis!" he cried
And even implied
That atheist Brits were demonic.
But these godless Brits got a tonic
From that "strident" stalwart, sardonic
Dick Dawkins let loose
On crimes of abuse
Covered up with speed supersonic.
Not known for columns laconic
The press went wild histrionic
With faitheist nutters
And atheist-butters
Calling Dawkins a crazed catatonic.
But thanks to the web electronic
Dawkins' words are going iconic
So more people know
That old Holy Joe
Is The Rat in the Vat icanonic.
His church looks more more moronic
The Rock is quaking tectonic
It's turned on its Head
And it has to be said
It's now The Great Whore Babylonic.